Yesterday was also the 6th anniversary of the day I met a guy who, I thought would become the next great love of my life. That one lasted over 5 years, and we broke up last fall when I realized it was mostly me having a relationship and he enjoying the benefits of my attention and devotion without giving much back.
Every year on our anniversary we had a little celebration - nothing big but special to both of us. So as the day approached I was a little worried that I'd be a bit emotional, wistful, and feeling that emptiness I felt in the first months after I said goodbye to him. I didn't :)
Actually, I remembered the day a few days in advance, then forgot about it until yesterday afternoon. I thought about sending an e-mail or e-card, or even calling but couldn't think of anything to say. So I back-burnered it for later, thinking we'd talk that evening. Evening came and went, then the stroke of midnight and the day was over.
And nothing. Not a twinge of loss. Not a sadness about "what might have been." No anger, hurt or sense of rejection. Nothing.
If anything I felt a peace about it, a knowing that we are now friends in the limited capacity he is capable of and that's ok. I have forgiven him, forgiven myself, and forgiven the world for not working out how I wanted. I have moved into acceptance, and I know without a doubt that I could pick up the phone any time or easily spend an afternoon with him in the spirit of genuine love and friendship, and without all the baggage that wanting a "relationship" brings.
Very freeing!
I'm sharing this for those who have been hurt by relationships and who every day still feel that sharp blade stabbing their hearts.
You CAN come to peace. You CAN come to a place where you're ok and ready to move on. It doesn't mean you stop loving that person but it does mean seeing the relationship for what is truly is rather than what you wish it was. Taking this step is a HUGE leap, and it will change your outlook and your life.
You can do this.... really :)
I believe this is possible...however, I think the real issues are, believe it or not, when the significant other is deceptive or plain cruel. You would think it is much easier to leave a very bad relationship, than leaving a good one....not always so. What I do know-speaking from experience, is that a each of these situations-while a part of your karmatic worksheet-take a little bit out of your psyche each time.....if it is a bad relationship--and adds to your psyche, each tme it is a good relationship. Chele.
ReplyDeleteEvery relationship is a mirror of what is going on inside you. Years ago I wouldn't have believed this but it's true.
ReplyDeleteHmm.... what does my relationship with you have to say about me?