Anyway, moving up to the present, I'm trying to retrain my mind to focus on positive things rather than negative so I can start making better choices and moving forward toward my dreams. One of the ways to do this is repetition, and a week or so ago the idea occurred to me that I could kind of burn new thought patterns into my brain by writing sentences.
So I got out a notebook and pen and started writing. The first day I wrote "I am rewiring my neuro-nets to be more positive." I wrote it once, then again and again until I'd completed an entire page. Then I turned the paper over and did the back too. I did it slowly and with focus, saying the words to myself as I wrote them. This took a long time and was actually painful at times as my hand started to cramp up. I just took a short break and started again.
Since then I've written a different sentence every day, and I'm completing 2 sheets of paper front and back for each one. If I'm feeling especially frustrated or low about something I simply write something like "I can flip this thought or emotion into something more positive" or "I am beginning to see the silver lining here."
Guess what. It works. Quickly sometimes and slowly other times but I can definitely sense subtle differences in how I'm thinking and reacting to the world around me. Try it yourself and see if you notice a difference too.