Different viewpoints

I love meeting people with vastly different viewpoints than mine.  I find them fascinating and I welcome the opportunity to see things differently and expand my own perspective.

While I may not ultimately buy into everything they believe, I do honor their point of view and make a conscious effort to understand it.  Because of this I find my own concept of reality expands, and can see and experience things I never would have otherwise.

Reality, if you think about it, has two parts.  There is the underlying reality, or "what is" and there is individual reality "what you perceive and conclude about what is."  They're not one and the same, and once you realize that entire worlds open up for you.

To illustrate this lets think about an apple tree.  There is this apple tree in a yard and the couple who lives there loves the apples.  Every year they harvest them and make applesauce and wonderful pies.  The neighborhood kids are welcome to climb the tree and  pick apples whenever they want and it makes the couple happy because they have no children of their own and they enjoy their "extended neighborhood family."  They often express their gratitude at the gift of apples and it makes them truly happy. 

Eventually the couple moves, lets say to a farm with an entire orchard.  Doesn't matter.  What does matter is that the family who moves in hates the apple tree, thinks it looks ugly and makes the yard messy, and are annoyed having to pick up all the apples and deal with the pesky neighbor kids.  Very soon they have that tree removed... and they are happy.

See what I mean here?  The underlying reality is the apple tree.  It simply is.  The reality of the people living in that house however is quite a different thing isn't it?  Neither is right or wrong.  They simply live in their own world created from their perceptions and conclusions about what is.

For some people this may be too philosophical but it's important if you, like me, are about expansion and gaining knowledge.  The more you can step into someone else's reality the more you can understand them, which means for better human relations all around.  As a bonus, you expand your own views, which enriches your life and experiences too.

So how do you know when you have an opportunity to expand your way of thinking?  I usually get a clue when I find myself judging someone or disagreeing with them off the bat.  The stronger the disagreement or emotional reaction the bigger clue that there's something I need to look at. 

I may not do it in the moment (especially if I'm fun debating the subject :p) but eventually I usually go back and think about what it is that pushes my buttons.  Invariably I'll become aware of my own limited thinking and see opportunities to expand my own perceptions, which I of course do immediately ;^)

Wow this world is so cool.... I love being here!

Business Tours - Red Wolf Sanctuary

On Sunday I was invited to go on a tour of Red Wolf Sanctuary, in Rising Sun Indiana.  I can't believe what a cool place this is, how beautiful and well cared for the animals are, and how dedicated the people are!

We were greeted by Paul Strasser, the director of the sanctuary and our tour guide for the day.  Even before we walked through the gates we were reminded that we needed to be careful around the animals.

Yes, these were real wild animals we were going to be seeing in as natural a habitat as possible.  Mr Stausser went over the rules for our safety.  Stand back from the fences and enclosures, don't intimidate the animals, stick with the group.  Good advice.

Also outside the gates we spied some of the local wildlife, probably stopping by to say hi. Isn't he (or she) pretty? 

Oh and I can't take credit for any of the photography.  My friend (and photographer extraordinaire) Terri took these pictures leaving me to enjoy the day.  You can see the whole album on her Facebook page.

Red Wolf Sanctuary is a rehabilitation center for predatory animals that are temporarily unable to live in the wild, and permanent home for some that for various reasons can never be reintroduced to their natural habitat.  Many were bought as pets at one time and were abused, neglected and/or abandoned by their owners.  The work that the Strassers do to take care of these animals is amazing, and they're funded entirely by donations!  Actually I suspect this is mostly a labor of love with them footing much of the bill personally and I was happy to send a few bucks their way.

You can help support their work too via their website: www.RedWolf.org.  If you know me you know I rarely donate to anything but this truly is a good cause!

Anyway, here are some pictures of what we saw.  They have 4 bears right now, 3 females and a male.  They live in a huge concrete bunker like building with doors going out to a massive outside yard.  Truly they have plenty of land on which to roam.  Today it was the male's turn to be outside so the females were inside.  They recently woke up from hibernation so they were still a bit grumpy :)

Next we met the cats, a cougar and bobcat.  If I remember right the cougar was rescued from a trailer where she lived with several adults and a toddler.  Can you imagine?!

Then we met the coyotes, which are very smart and beautiful too.

There were also foxes, which I don't have a picture of but did you know that the Red Fox actually comes in 9 different colors?  Next we came to the grey wolves which are actually white and are really beautiful!  And nope that one wasn't angry - just bored.  That's a yawn, lol!

The sanctuary also houses predatory birds that have been injured, like hawks, vultures and owls, rehabilitating them if possible for re-release into the wild.  They've also had eagles in the past though they don't at the moment.  As we approached the bird barn an entire flock of visiting vultures took flight.  There must have been hundreds of them!

Pretty cool stuff huh?  Again you can check out all the photos on Facebook and please also check out the Sanctuary's website and consider helping them out.

Perching percariously on the fence

Isn't it funny how out of the blue and for no particular reason something can suddenly come into focus and become so perfectly clear that you're left wondering how you could have possibly missed it before?

This happened to me today while I was talking to someone about random nothingness.  All of a sudden this thought entered my mind. No, it shot its way in like a rocket, blowing all other thoughts away!

It was at this precise moment I realized I have a decision to make and that this particular decision will be THE decision that sends my life in either one direction another.  I also know that once I make this decision and commit to it, the other direction will close itself to me and I won't be able to go back.  Big - very big - stuff!

You see I've been perching on this fence for a long time now, wobbling back and forth while I try to maintain my balance.  Sometimes I learn toward one side and sometimes toward the other, but up until today I've really been trying to figure out a way to incorporate both sides of the fence into my life. Forget that "grass is greener" thing - I want to own both pastures dang it!

What hit me today, loud and clear, is that I can't do both.  Each path is so vastly different that I have to choose one or the other before forward momentum can be made.  And until I do that I'm going to keep balancing on this fence, swaying back and forth but never taking the leap to one side or the other.  Which means I'll keep floundering and going pretty much nowhere, because all my energy will be consumed staying on that dang fence.

I also know that once I commit to one direction the other will rapidly and completely fade out of my life, including certain people who I hold dear.  Some are on one side and some are on the other and unfortunately the two don't mix.  This hurts me because I know that invariably people on the side I leave behind - some that I care about a lot - will fade away as I move further from the fence.

But it has to be done because I'm not happy where I'm at, I'm not moving forward in my life, and I'm not doing myself or the world a service by staying here.  So these next many days will be full of introspection, pondering, and prayer as I allow my higher self to guide me in the right direction.

At which time I'll take a leap of faith so hug it will span entire galaxies!

Excited and oh so terrified... you gonna watch me launch?

Yet another reason Bradford Pears annoy me

This is why my car looked like after being parked at work for a couple hours...

It had been raining on and off all day - those wonderful, torrential rains of spring - so my car was littered with little white petals from the trees.  But hey, at least the rain washed off the mega-glop of whiteness some Pterodactyl left on the hood yesterday!

I got soaked dashing in and out of the car in between appointments but I didn't mind, and after a while the sun emerged and we ended up having a beautiful afternoon.

Today it's much cooler, I even put my sweatshirt on, and the air feels fresh and clean.  Weird thing though - even after driving rain yesterday the top of my car is still dusty looking.  Guess I'll have to run it though a real car wash :)

Overlooking the obvious

Sometimes something can be right in front of my face and I simply don't see it.

This happened to me the other day, when I spent a while looking for my phone, which was in my hand!

It also happened to me today, as I was talking with someone about having an office without having an office.  While I have met people at different restaurants and coffee shops before, it always seemed awkward to settle on a place and time.  The ah-ha moment today was that I can pick half a dozen places around town and use them as a kind of "around the town" offices.

So like Monday office hours may be from 2-4 at the coffee shop on the east side.  Tuesday it may be from 1-3 at the place on the north side.  And so on.  That way I can set up appointments according to my office schedule, I don't have to have the "where do you want to meet" discussion, and I don't wear out my welcome at any one place.  Additionally, because I'm frequenting the same several places I get to know the people there a bit, I learn which tables are best for meetings, where the power outlets out, and which times are least crowded.  An all around great solution for having an "around the town" office.

Of course this will all change once I go mobile.  After that meetings can be done at coffee shops, in parks, at a library, or anywhere else that's conductive to people meeting people.  Assuming that's what I do.  If most of my business ends up being conducted via phone and internet this becomes much less of an issue.

But for now I'm glad I finally saw this obvious piece, and can now start building my own network of "offices" to meet clients at.

New Moon Creation Ceremony

Today there is a new moon and it's in the astrological sign of Aries.  I don't know a lot about astrology but I know people who do and they have told me it's a very powerful new moon for creation and expansion.

Aries is a fire sign which is about movement and taking action and with this new moon falling in Aries (the sun is in Aries too) it's likely that we will find ourselves entering new, exciting and perhaps scary life changes that seem revolutionary and earth shattering to us.  This is a time of major expansion in which our imagination runs wild and we're able to envision entirely new dimensions we hadn't even fathomed previously.  Major turning points are on the way for many of us so get ready for the ride!

In my own life I feel as though I've been on the cusp of major change for quite some time now.  I know I'm mere steps away from an entirely different life and yet I haven't been able to see the details clearly enough to make much headway.  I'm excited about this new moon, as I know it will give me just the push I need to take that leap of faith into bold, new horizons!

To celebrate and usher in the energy of the Aries full moon, I'm doing a "Creation Ceremony" as soon as I finish this blog post.  I'm lighting 2 candles, a green one for abundance and a white one for spiritual insight and I'm making a new creation board.

What's a creation board?  It's a collage made of poster board with pictures and words on it.  There's lots of color and even glitter if I can find some!  I'm not making it in Photoshop either.  The point is to experience a tactile connection to the things I'm creating so I'll be cutting out and pasting pictures, and drawing with markers.  Fun stuff!

I'm also writing a list of the top few things I want to create and planting that list in a pot with flower seeds.  I did this last year and as the flowers grew and bloomed I watched my dreams come into reality too.  So I'm excited to do it again and to watch the results over the next few months!


Try it yourself and see how it makes you feel.  If you miss out tonight don't worry... you can do the ceremony tomorrow or even Saturday (first 3 days of the new moon are the most powerful I'm told).  Oh and if you want to know more about the new moon in Aries check out these links:

New Moon in Aries Pt. 1 - What's Happening in March-April 201

Aries in a New Moon - 2012

New Moon Manifesting - Moon in Aries 2012

Objectivism

For the past few months I've been studying a philosophy called Objectivism.  Apparently I live under a rock, because I'd never heard of such a thing until right before New Year's when not one but three separate people mentioned Ayn Rand and suggested I read her book Atlas Shrugged.  Well when three people who don't know each other mention the same book in three completely different conversations in a two day period I take it as a sign, so I went right out and got a copy and read it.

From there I went on to have several discussions with one of the people who'd recommended the book to me in the first place, and on his recommendation started reading Objectivism: The Philosophy of Ayn Rand, as well as a couple other related things.  We also had a few discussions about the philosophy, which were stimulating and thought provoking.

What I found most fascinating is despite how different this way of seeing the world is from my own, I was still able to find enough common points to identify with it and enough validity to incorporate at least some of it into the way I think and operate.

Which is an important point:

Your philosophy (and mine) are but one
way of seeing and operating in the world.

There are many, many other philosophies, all which have some merit and all of which work for some people.  Your goal (and mine) is to find something that works for us and live that to the fullest.  This, I believe, is a key component of creating and living the life we want, which leads us to happiness and fulfillment.

Taking this a step further, while it's important to gain a clear understanding of how you view life and what works for you, it's also important to keep an open mind and to eagerly absorb new information and ways of thinking.  You don't have to jump on every train that comes along, but if you're not at least open to new ideas you may just miss out on something that can take you to new levels of self-understanding and greatly enhance your ability to function and succeed in the world around you.

So will I wholeheartedly embrace Objectivism?  Probably not.  I'm way too much of an independent thinker to completely embrace any one viewpoint or philosophy.  However I do find some merit in the principles of Objectivism so I will incorporate the information I've learned into my current understanding of reality and how the world works.  Because of this I gain understanding, not only of myself but of others who do embrace this philosophy and have found a way for it to work in their lives.

It's all part of the cool adventure called life, and I'm going to continue expanding my horizons by soaking in new information and experiences, forever adding to the mosaic that makes up the fullness of "Maria."

Sounds of spring

I woke up this morning to one of the inevitable sounds of spring - the drone of a lawnmower right outside my window.  It permeated my dreams, then jarred me awake as it sputtered and hesitated before lurching forward once again.

I'm so glad spring has arrived!  I love seeing the pretty flowers, trees and bushes, watching the squirrels play and chase one another round and round trees and over wires, and watching the birds flit around busily making their nests to raise families.  The sounds are lovely too, from the birds to the children playing and yes, even the drone of the lawnmower.  Heck I bet we're just mere days away from hearing the jingle of the ice-cream truck meandering through the neighborhoods.

A controversial part of spring is the aromas.  I love the smell of flowers, freshly cut grass, the earthy scent of the forest, and the gurgling, bubbling aroma of the creek as it wakes up for the season.  To people who have allergies however the season can be torture.  I so appreciate that I've been allergy free for the last 25 years because I absolutely love absorbing the smells of spring as well as the sights and sounds!

Here are some pictures from last night's walk around the neighborhood.  I never did learn the names of things so I can't tell you what most of these are, but I found them colorful and pretty so I snapped a few shots.

Saw this bush first and loved the vibrant yellow color.  Somehow it reminded me of the burning bush of Moses fame but then the leaves would have had more red and orange in them.  But still it was cool.

Then I snapped this picture of flowers around a big tree.  There are daffodils and tulips there I think, and perhaps a few others.  See, I'm not a total flower noob after all :)

Next I saw this cool tree, which looked like an umbrella.  The vibrant colors didn't turn out well in the picture but it's pretty nonetheless.  I could grab a good book and relax under that tree for a while... if it weren't on such a busy street that is.

 

No stroll around city streets would be complete without a couple of building pictures.  It cracked me up how these people tried to make a second story deck out of their porch!

 

And I've always thought this building is so cool!  You can't tell from the picture but the purple trim is REALLY purple and it's almost a shame it's a custom drapery store.  Seems so whimsical that it needs to be a candy shop, mystical gift or book store, or something other than window treatments.  Ya know?

The fence and wires kinda mess the shot up too.  One thing I hate about living in the city, especially this older part of the city, is that there are wires everywhere.  You can't escape them and I don't know how many cool pictures I've gotten that were ruined by those infernal wires!  At least in suburbia they bury the wires, leaving unfettered shots of cool buildings, landscapes, sunsets, and other interesting things.

View over the hill

Last night as I left work I snapped this picture of the sunset.  The street I was on goes abruptly downhill so it looks like it disappears right into the horizon.  At least that's my impression standing in the middle.  Just wish there weren't wires strung everywhere.

 

By the time I got home it was considerably darker and as I pulled in there was one of the neighborhood cats chilling on the car next to mine.   Spooky, huh?  And can you believe I even turned on the "red eye reducer" setting on the camera!

Spring is in bloom

Took this picture at my bosses' house.  The office is on the second floor and I opened the window and sat on the sill, hanging half way out over the front porch.

I'm such a dare-devil :p

What you're looking at is the top of a Bradford Pear tree, which right now is in bloom with pretty white flowers.  Unfortunately these trees also have a rather strong scent to them which, I'm not sure I'd describe as pleasant.  Good thing scent doesn't travel through the internet!

Quasi-paleo tuna salad

A springtime favorite at my house is tuna salad. After a winter of hot, stick-to-your-gut foods it's nice to lighten up with this yummy and nutritious salad.  My daughter doesn't even bother using a fork or plate.  She just confiscates the entire batch and scoops it right out of the bowl with crackers.  I'm lucky if I get any at all!

It's not strictly paleo (there are peas and miracle whip in it) but it's close enough so that I feel ok indulging every once in a while.

Ok, so here's how you make it:

Ingredients

• 4 cans of tuna  - I realized today that tuna comes in 5oz cans.  I swear they used to be 6oz!
• 3 hard boiled eggs, chopped - farm raised of course :)
• 2 medium (or 1 large) carrots, grated - I use a salad shooter for this
• 1 large (or 2 medium) stalks of celery, diced - split them long-ways several times then dice them up
• 1 cup of frozen peas (or as much as you like) - I don't even thaw them out.  Just mix them in.
• 1 squirt of yellow mustard to taste
• Miracle whip to taste (usually about 1/2 cup or so but I never measure) - I've tried this with mayonnaise but it's just not the same

 Mix it all together in a large bowl and enjoy!  Could that be easier?

Like I said my daughter simply scoops it out of the bowl with crackers.  Since I don't eat grains, I like to put it on a bed of shredded lettuce, top with diced tomatoes, and serve with carrot and celery sticks.  Which ever way you do it, prepare to say YUM!

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Edit:  Yes, I realize most tuna has mercury in it.  I try to get mercury free but even if I can't I eat this so rarely that I'm not worried about it.

Paleo Pantry - Making adjustments for a new season

Spring is in the air here in Southwestern Ohio (finally!) and it's time to update my Paleo pantry.

Over the winter I was quite satisfied with warm, nurturing foods like roasts, whole chickens, soups, and root vegetables but now it's spring and I'm feeling the urge to lighten up a bit.

So yesterday I went shopping with the intent of getting more spring-like paleo foods.  Here are a few things I came up with:

• Steaks and hamburger rather than roasts.  Great pan fried or on the grill.
• Chicken pieces instead of whole chickens.  Again, great on the grill and I can fry them southern style too (sans breading of course)
• Fish.  I'm not a huge fish eater but it's mighty tasty in the spring.  Can't wait until summer when I can get some fresh catches from friends!
• Lighter vegetables.  I eat carrots all year round but I traded in the other root vegetables (potatoes, sweet potatoes, etc.) for lighter fare like lettuce, swiss chard, and other greens, radishes, daikon, tomatoes, and celery.  Closer to summer I'll add zucchini, summer squash and cucumbers.
• Fruit.  Except for my berry craze a while back, I've kept fruit to a minimum.  In the spring though my body craves fruit, so I got some berries, grapes, a couple bananas, oranges, and a pineapple.  I don't gorge myself on this stuff (too much sugar even though it's natural) but I do eat more of it in spring.
• Coconut water.  I like to add this to smoothies and green drinks.  I also drink it straight as a refreshing beverage.
• Green drink supplement.  During early spring I like to kind of purge my system and revv up for summer with a green drink.  The one I'm using this time around is Perfect Food Original by Garden of Life (available online or at many health food stores) and I'll take a scoop a day in coconut water and a little pineapple juice until it's gone.  Great detox for spring!

I also got a couple non-paleo foods, namely 2 ears of corn in the husk and a small bag of frozen peas.  Corn will be much better in the summer, but I always get a couple ears in early spring to remind me of what I have to look forward to.  I cook them in the oven (or grill) right in the husk.... yummy!  The peas are for my spring time favorite recipe, tuna salad, which also isn't paleo but hey, it's a family tradition so I gotta have it at least once this year :)

Busy weekend

Wow I can't believe the weekend is almost over and I'm just now able to sit down and post something!

A lot of people were in crisis this weekend, partly due to the 2012 changes, partly because Mercury, Mars and Saturn being in retrograde all at once (triple whammy), and partly because crisis is a part of human nature and affects many people.

Because of this I spent a good part of the weekend on the phone and Skype, as well as making house calls.  Was amazing the energy we moved this weekend and the positive shifts that happened because of that movement.  I am so blessed to be able to help people and be part of positive change!

Speaking of that, even though there are prices for readings and guidance listed on my Maria the Muse website, I NEVER turn anyone away for lack of funds.  We can always work something out so if you need help please contact me.  I am here to help :)

I'll have more updates soon. Stay tuned....

Lining up work

One of the things I need to figure out in order to launch my trip around the country is the funding.  There are two parts to this equation:

1. Start up - buying the rig and accessories and having a savings cushion in case of major expenses
2. Ongoing expenses - daily, weekly, monthly living expenses

I've been thinking a lot about this, and lately business opportunities have been coming my way.  There's just one problem:

The opportunities I think I'd like doing all tie me to Cincinnati and the ones that don't appeal to me at all are the ones with mobile potential.

So what's the message here?  Is this my inner being trying to tell me I need to stay here?  I hope not because I really, really want to do this RV thing!

So today I had this "come to Jesus" talk with God (ha! that sounds funny) in which I basically said that I need to start becoming aware of opportunities that are in alignment with my dreams - ie they have to be BOTH mobile and something I enjoy doing.

Let's see what comes up in the next few weeks.

Oh and feel free to chime in if you have any ideas... I'm open to anything and everything :)

Mind chatter

For a little while today I had trouble concentrating on my work, drifting off instead to dreams of the life I want to live.  When I close my eyes I'm already there, sitting by (or even in) some scenic water feature and relishing the wholeness of creation as it permeates my senses.

I go there often in my mind - have been for years.  And as long as I don't open my eyes it's perfect.

But open my eyes I must as there's work to be done, and as my focus comes back to my immediate surrounds the mind chatter begins. 

See there's this little monkey dude running around in my head telling me that I'm never going to get the things I want.  And there's this other monkey dude telling me that I have to figure out the how. And another one telling me I'm going to have to give up some of my dreams in order to achieve others.  And still another saying the life I want is for others but not me.

Shut up all ready!

I've heard it all, I know all the excuses and gosh-darnit, I'm sick of hearing it!  Time for big, mama, mambo monkey to come in and stomp all you little naysayers!

She's sassy, she knows what she wants, and she doesn't take no for an answer.  More and more she's asserting herself and you know what... those little dudes are running for cover.

Good riddance! 

What a way to travel!

Saw this last night on my way to a really cool women's group meeting...

Truck hauling a fifth-wheel hauling a boat.  Had they had a motorcycle or ATV behind the boat it would have even been cooler!

I bet they're headed to Caesar's Creek, getting ready for camping/boating season.

A day at the park

Yesterday I met my daughter at a local park and we walked the trails and watched the ducks, geese and people. 

The weather was perfect and spring was in the air... almost.  As you can see from the picture it was sunny, and I have to say it did feel very nice, but the trees and ground still looked a lot like winter to me. 



Plus it just doesn't smell like spring yet.  It's funny how smell is such an important sense but few people pay attention unless something has an obnoxious or foul odor.  But it's a very big part of overall experience and I won't be truly convinced that spring is on the way until it smells like it too.

There is hope though.  We saw these daffodils starting to bloom along the trail...

And I stood on the little bridge over the creek with my eyes closed, listening to the sounds of the water.  I love water.  In the summer I like to get right in the creek, sitting on the rocks and dangling my feet in the water.  As a kid I remember hunting for crayfish...what fun!  Heck, I still like to do it!

Here's another picture of the creek with a little waterfall in it.  I bet this one was just a foot or so high, but where I used to live there was a creek with a waterfall over 12 feet high.  Donna and I want to go back and see that this spring... should be fun and I'll take pictures too.

Finally we crossed the bridge back to civilization.  Ok we never really left but I can pretend, right?

Then we sat on a bench, talking and watching things around us.  Where are these ducks going?  You can't tell it but they sure were in a hurry!

  

And that's it... our afternoon in the park.  Great way to spend a lazy Sunday :)

Lessons from a rest area

Though you wouldn't know it, I can be incredibly shy.  I used to be shy to the point of being backward, then I covered it up with false bravado and sometimes obnoxious behavior, and now I'm mostly over it.

But sometimes, and at weird moments, I get shy.  So I've been a little worried that once I start my mobile lifestyle I'll become too isolated simply because my shyness takes over and I'm not able to reach out to people.  I mean, saying "I'll have a cup of coffee" to the gal at the diner doesn't exactly qualify as conversation, huh?

So anyway, as we were driving back from Cleveland Saturday night we stopped at a rest area for a bathroom break.  As we were leaving, a woman walked in and asked if we could hang out while she changed her clothes.  Said she felt insecure being alone in a rest area, which was cool so we waited.

As we walked her back to her car I easily struck up a conversation, finding out she was on her way to visit her son who she hadn't seen in a while and she was excited about it.  Also found out she was a little nervous traveling alone, and a few other things.

What struck me was how natural this was and how easily I started the conversation and in the span of just a couple minutes made her feel better about her trip. 

Three ah-ha moments here....

1. I'm not shy and will have absolutely no problem finding people to talk to in my travels.
2. I love hearing stories, even the two minute variety and find people fascinating and mostly pretty darn cool.
3. And the big one - One of the reasons I'm here (on this planet) is to offer tidbits to help people feel better in small ways.  I do this in lots of ways already, through my online connections, 30 second conversations grocery store lines and other random places, and helping people out when they need it.  That's why people started calling me a muse... I inspire with a few kind words and actions.

And I know this is one reason I'm so excited about adopting a mobile lifestyle.  There are so many people out there who need a smile, a few kind words, or a nudge to see things just a little differently.  Makes me so excited to meet them all!

Things are unfolding faster and faster.... feel the rush!

RV Show & Traveling

Yesterday I went to the RV show in Columbus, then headed to Cleveland with a friend to visit her aunt.

What cracked me up about the RV show is that right when you walked in there was a row of booths with people selling everything from gutters to replacement windows to bathtub inserts!  Yeah, I'll be needing a new set of gutters on my RV soon :p

Yes, I understand that most people who are looking at RVs have money to spend on their homes too but still... found it funny there were more sticks & bricks type booths than RV related ones.

Anyway, amid the Class C's, toy haulers, fifth wheels, Class A's, pop-up's, and cute little pull behinds I finally found what I'd come to see... Class B camper vans!

Unfortunately there were only a few to look at - maybe 5 Pleasureways (not sure why but I really don't like those much) and 1 pretty damned awesome Free Spirit Leisure Travel Van!

Yeah, I lifted this picture from their website ;)

I've had a love affair with Leisure Travel Vans since I ran across them in a Google search a while back and getting to hang out in once sealed the deal.  They really seem to put a lot of thought into their designs, and make great use of space too. All around very cool!

After we were done with the RV show we headed north to see my friend's Aunt, then back south, getting home right around midnight.  Quite a long day with a total of almost 10 hours of drive time.  Ack!

So here's what I learned form this little outing...

On RV Living...

• After sitting in these Class B RV's, I can confidently say they are absolutely the PERFECT size for me!  I love that everything is easily accessible, cozy and comfortable and that they're small enough to be easy to drive and park anywhere.  I felt right at home :)
• The only down side is that the freezers are small (I typically like to keep a fair amount of frozen grass fed beef & free range poultry & pork around) and that it's really inconvenient to accommodate two people unless you share the bed.  Not a big deal as I plan to travel solo most of the time, but on the occasion friends or my daughter want to tag along it would be nice to have individual sleeping arrangements.  Especially for my daughter - love ya Donna but you take up way too much room and steal the covers! :p
• There is a ton of mark up in these things!  The one pictured above had a price of $116k on it with a show price of $93k.  That's a $23k discount - makes me wonder how many others tens of thousands of dollars they have in mark up!  Not that I'm planning on buying new mind you.  It just cracks me up that the discount on these rigs is more than what I'll probably pay total for mine.
• Inch for inch, Class Bs are by far the most expensive way to RV.  Assuming you already have a vehicle that can tow something, you can get a cute little pull behind thingy with more interior space than a Class B for under $5k new.  Really when you're buying a Class B you're buying all-in-one convenience and stealth capability... but oh man do you pay for it!
• Financing is tough on these things unless you have stellar credit and lots of money down.  Honestly it's much easier to pay cash if you can than to try and jump through the financing hoops.  One sales person was telling me that many people wanted them but just couldn't get the financing, which is really hurting the industry right now.  Makes sense to me.

On Traveling...

• The trip reminded me how much I love to travel.  Thinking back some 30 years ago... almost another lifetime really... I was with a guy who also loved traveling and we did it often.  Not a weekend went by that we weren't driving somewhere, camping, or out on the boat.  I remember one time we drove all the way to Toledo just to go to McDonalds.  Ha!  Yeah we traveled a lot and I miss that.
• What I don't miss is the long drive home after having fun getting there.  Coming home always was (and still is) boring, as you pass much of the same stuff you saw going there.  Plus it's kind of a downer having to come back to the same old, familiar surroundings once again.  So the idea of taking my home with me so that the destination becomes the home now has even more appeal!  For instance, from Cleveland, Erie is just a hop and a skip and then Niagara Falls isn't too much farther and I have friends in New England... See where I'm going with this?
• I also know that I'm done with Cincinnati.  Just driving back here I felt the energy get heavier and greyer as we approached the I-275 belt.  Now don't get me wrong - Cincinnati is a fine city.  It's just that I've lived here my whole life and it's time to expand my horizons a bit.  Ok, a lot!

Ok folks that's it for now. I've got a newsletter to write and a few places to go.  Catch ya'll later!

Thinking about work (again)

Last night, or maybe a couple nights ago, I got a call from a guy who needed help with a website project.  Real sweetheart of a guy, and I love working with him, but still... I'm not feeling the website love right now.

We talked about it some more just a little while ago, and he'd found a solution so I'm glad.  And it got me to thinking (again) about what my whole deal is with this website thing, why I don't want to do it for work, and what else might I do instead.

See from a purely logical point of view designing and maintaining websites is a perfect source of mobile income.  And since income is one duck I need to get in a row in order to embark on my adventure later this year, it's tempting to jump back in. 

But emotionally I just don't like doing it all that much anymore.  Makes me cringe in fact!  But at the same time I have to wonder...

• What if I'm just being stubborn?
• What if this is simply part of all the emotional stuff I've been dealing with?
• What if I'm sabotaging my dreams?
• What if nothing else will come along?
• What if this is my "calling" and I'm on the wrong train?

What if, what if, what if.....

Well here's the thing folks.  If it doesn't feel good the it's a sign you're not supposed to be doing it.  I don't mean if it doesn't feel good sometimes.  Even people who do what they love for work have days like that.  But if over time doing certain work makes you feel crappy, consistently, then it's time to do something else.

That's how I feel about website work.  There's no amount of talking, convincing, or trying to suck it up that makes me want to do it.  So I'm standing firm in my decision to get out of that line of work.

Now.... time for my inner being to reveal something I CAN get excited about, that will support my upcoming mobile lifestyle.  I'm ready... bring it on!

What was the point of that outing?

Well today was one of those weird days...

The plan was to go to the phone store to talk about some different options for my cell phone service.  Instead of going to the store by my apartment, I decided to go to the store I originally got my phone at.  It's about 30 minutes away but I really like the people there.

Anyway, I get there and......  it's gone.  Granted I hadn't been there in a while but still.  Poof! Gone.

I drove through a couple strip malls in the area to see if it had moved.  It hadn't.  So frustrated, I decided to go to Half Price Books to see if they had a couple things on my reading list.  They didn't have what I was looking for but the nice girl there called another store which did have one book I wanted.  So I had them hold it for me and headed south to pick it up.

On the way I got a phone call, so when I got to the store I sat in the parking lot talking for a bit, after which I went in the store to ask for my book.  Well my name was on "a" book, but not the one I'd reserved.  Not even close!  Fortunately they had what I wanted on the shelf so I got it. Then as I headed out to my car I realized that the keys were.... locked in the car.  Yeah, I'd set them on the seat next to me while talking on the phone and conveniently left them there when I got out of the car.  Grrrr!

So I called my daughter who came and got me and took me back to my place to get the other key.  Since she was nice enough to come get me, I bought her a couple movies, and as I was checking out I decided to get the "wrong" book that had my name on it.  It's called Emotional Intelligence 2.0 and I figured since I've been dealing with tons of emotional stuff lately I better get it!

I started reading it to Donna on the way to get my keys and I think it will be pretty good.  She liked it too so I'll pass it on when I'm done. Anyway, we got the other key and she dropped me back off at my car.  By this time the phone store nearby was closed so I just headed home.

But I gotta wonder... what's the deal?  Was I really supposed to go running all around town to NOT deal with my phone but to get a book that I "might' need to read?  Who knows.  The world sure can be mysterious at times.

Time to move

When I moved into this apartment some 14 months ago I was so excited!  It was well maintained, quiet, in an ok part of town, the rent was cheap, and the neighbors were friendly.  Plus it was my first time ever living completely by myself and I was eager for the adventure!

Coming up on the year mark though, there were signs I need to move on.  First the lady downstairs started complaining I was making too much noise.  She'd bang on the ceiling to try and get me to shut up, sometimes waking me from a sound sleep!  Now I'm a very quiet person so for the life of me I have no idea what she was hearing.  But whatever.

Then some neighbors moved out and the replacements were a bit noisier.  Ok, lot noisier! Then people started blocking the driveway with their noisy cars (seriously, do they pay to make them louder?), honking their horns at all hours, and standing out there having loud conversations, all which would be no big deal if it wasn't right next to my bedroom window.  Then one neighbor died, and it looks like another is following suit, which changed the energy even more.  Then a month or so ago I started blowing light bulbs.  I actually blew 4 in one day, and a couple more blew not too long after.  That's usually a sure sign it's time to move on.

But the final straw came this morning.

I was getting ready to leave and noticed my landlady standing out in the parking lot with two men in uniforms.  Turns out they were from a pest control company and they were trying to trap cats.  Everyone who knows me knows I'm a cat lover, so this made me livid!

See there are about a dozen or so cats that hang around the place.  They were dumped or otherwise found their way there many years ago and the landlady and a couple neighbors have been feeding them ever since.  They even had them fixed, vaccinated, and micro-chipped.  I've contributed to the cat fund in the past, and have grown fond of seeing them around.

Apparently, someone doesn't like the whole cat thing, and complained to the city who ordered they be trapped and removed because they are a "health hazard."  We all know this is probably the end for these kitties, who were doing nothing but living their lives, and being taken care of and enjoyed by the residents of our little apartment complex.

This little city I live in, Norwood, Ohio to point fingers, is incredibly stupid about a lot of things.  The road I live on is so rough that I swear they pay crews to make it worse rather than fix it up.  You're not allowed to have a garage sale without a special permit and not everyone gets one.  And while it's a fine place during the day, I sure don't feel safe strolling around at night.  Plus they're notorious for wasting city funds on completely useless projects (like many cities do), while leaving other things to rot and decay.

So it doesn't surprise me they'd make a big deal about a few cats who are well taken care of and a hazard to no one.  While at the same time, dogs are being neglected and abused over at a particular address, and despite numerous complaints (which I have first hand knowledge of), they haven't done a dang thing about it!


So yeah, I get the message!  RV buying plans are moving up a few months and as soon as I can figure this out, I'm outta here!

Start from ground zero

I've been listening to a lot more Abraham-Hicks material lately.  I go back and forth with this type of stuff, as we all do.  You know - listen and read for a while then move on to something else then come back again later.  Anyway, I can't remember which audio I heard it on but there was this quote that really stuck with me:

Being satisfied where I am and eager for
more is the fastest path to what I want.

Isn't that cool!  I liked it so much I actually taped it to the wall... and that doesn't happen often :)

So let's think about this for a minute.  

• How can you be satisfied where you are when you don't have what you want?  
• How can being happy with where you are get you what you want?  
• Won't it just keep you right where you are?

Good questions.... glad you asked!

First, think about how you feel when you're satisfied.  You're content, happy and going positively about your day.  You enjoy life and look forward to many little pleasures.  You love your family and friends and have your fun activities and interests.  All in all life is good.

What a perfect platform from which to launch an even better life!  You already know what good feels like.  You already know what happy is.  So it's just a matter of incrementally stepping up the scale.  From happy it's easier to be happier.  From content it's easy to slide right into even more content.  Doing the things you want to do and getting the things you want seem perfectly natural because they ARE perfectly natural.  You're just going along with the flow of life and taking the next obvious step, which happens to be toward the things you want.

Contrast that with trying to create a better life when you feel like crap.  I don't know about you but when I feel like crap it's dang hard to remember what being happy is like.  On top of that, it's near impossible to see the path to getting there.  Nothing seems like a natural progression to better times because from the point of miserable nothing can be.  Misery can only beget misery so it's no wonder it's so hard to get what you want when you're unhappy about what you already have.

Sooooo.....................

Back to the point:  Find a way to be happy NOW!

Then - from that space - launch your rockets of desire.  They'll come fast - a lot faster than you ever imagined.  And from there things will just keep getting better and better :)

Tired...

I didn't get enough sleep last night, mainly because I had a couple client emergencies that kept me on Skype until the wee hours.  That's what happens when you work with people in different time zones, and also when you give such personal service as I do.

So this morning I was dragging a little, and I took the opportunity to see how lack of sleep affects my mood.  Since I'm on a mission to beat this depression thing, everything has become an experiment lately :)

Anyway, since I'm tired I am less able to focus and feel like I'm working in a fog, but other than that I'm not particularly down.  Except for one moment when I remembered my former best friend and got a little sad about it.

Which leads me to think that a chunk of this depression may have to do with personal relationships.  Going to test that one later and see.

Now.... I also want to say I'm not going to push this.  I am a gal who definitely needs her sleep, so while skimping one night is ok, I know from experience that skimping multiple nights will put me in a world of hurt!  Plus if I'm not sleeping enough I'm missing out on those fantabulous dreams I have.

Have a great day... I'm off to work :)

Feeling better

After the raging emotions of the last few days I wanted to let everyone know I'm feeling better.

I'm not sure it it's because I'm being way more strict with what I eat, that I doubled my daily dose of Vitamin D-3, the amazing support I received from friends, that some planet moved in the heavens, or that the mood just passed.

But today I feel hopeful again, and the dreams I'd all but given up look sunny and bright on my horizon.

Which brings me to an important point:

I refuse to continue on this crazy roller coaster!

Yes, I understand everyone has ups and downs.  That I can deal with.  But mine are seriously inhibiting my ability to function in certain areas of my life.  They've also damaged friendships, as I've whined a bit too much to some people and been less than charitable others when at my lowest.

This is unacceptable to me, and while I'm feeling good, I'm going full swing into "problem solver" mode.

I've already pulled out all my own tricks, and tomorrow I'm going to a doctor who specializes in hormonal and emotional imbalances to make sure that there isn't some physical reason for all this.  I know I've mentioned menopause before... could be part of it.  But whatever it is, I'm getting to the bottom of it so I can start living again instead of being trapped in this never ending circle!

Happy Sunday everyone, I'm off to enjoy the sunshine :^)

Where you were doesn't matter

For at least a decade I've been helping a lot of people learn to use the Law of Attraction to create better lives for themselves and those they love.  I've been pretty successful too - at least that's what my friends and clients tell me.

One of the things that I always tell people is this:

Where you were doesn't matter... it's where you're going that's important.

And yet in my own life I've given the past far too much power over me.  I still allow things that happened over 20 years ago to keep me from moving forward today.  I know it, and it makes me mad!

So why do I do it?  Why does anyone do it when clearly letting go of the past and moving forward is the ticket to getting you where you want to go?

Lots of reasons, and I want to highlight a few here in case you find yourself getting stuck in the past like I do:

1. Self-Esteem issues - This is my number one problem, and the reason many people can't seem to let go of the past.  Because of this thing or that person in my past, my self-esteem got knocked down to ZERO.  Below zero actually and at one point I'm pretty sure I was in negative double digits.  It's hard to move ahead when you don't believe in yourself.  So thing number one is to start working on your self-esteem!
   
2. Trauma trapped in your physical body - Never believed this was true until I experienced it for myself.  When something traumatic happens to you, that trauma can actually get trapped in your body.  A good example of this is someone who is in a car wreck and bangs up their head really good, after which that person has a headache every time they're in a car.  The emotional component of that trauma has actually gotten trapped in the physical body, causing symptoms.
   
3. We are onions - We all have many layers.  I'm beginning to think we have infinite layers, or at least I seem to. So when something happens way back in the past if affects us, then it gets covered up by layers and layers of memories and stories until the original cause is long forgotten.  It's no wonder it can be difficult to get to and release the root cause.
   
4. Getting trapped in our own stories - There is reality and there are the stories we tell ourselves about reality.  It's often hard to separate the two, and it's very easy to get trapped in our own stories, especially the junky ones!  The truth is no one remembers accurately things that happened many years ago.  If you don't believe me go find someone from your distant past and compare notes.  You may find it hard to believe you even inhabited the same planet, much less the same point in time and space.  Once you see your stories for what they are, a bit of fact mixed in with lots of embellishment from you, then you can begin to unravel things and get to the core of what's holding you back.
   
5. Holding grudges - This stops people in their tracks all the time.  I actually know someone who won't go to a certain restaurant because 25 years ago they got bad food.  I mean really - 25 years?!  But people hold grudges all the time and it can severely limit their life experience.  Time to let go.  I'm sure they have a new chef by now :)

There are many other things that contribute to getting stuck in the past and being able to move forward in your life.  If you think this is part of why you aren't making progress then think about the things above, do some research, and talk to people who can help you with that.

I am working very hard to forgive and release my own past so that I can begin to create the life I want.  Lots has been done already, still a lot more to do, but I can do it!

We all can :-)

Lucid moments

One thing about being on this roller coaster of depression is that it alternates between moments of lucidity and emotional upheavals that temporarily suffocate logical thought.

Right now I'm feeling pretty good.  I can think logically, get stuff done, make plans, and look ahead to a bright future.  When I succumb to depression however, all that goes out the window.

All I can see when in the midst of it is total despair and no reason to live.  I believe I have no worth whatsoever, make no contribution to the world, have no gifts or talents, and that no one loves me - or even likes me all that much.  In the deepest moments I believe completely that this is true, and if you've interacted with me during those times you've most likely thrown up your hands in defeat because really, there's no changing my mind.

Yes, even in the depths of depression I'm still extremely stubborn!

The good news is that more and more I'm able to see, or rather feel, depression coming on, and sometimes I can even avert it.  Those are the wins and when successful I jump up and down and congratulate myself!  When I lose however, and find myself deep in that pit once again, I have been noticing that even there something has changed.

Though I'm depressed and really believe the world would be better off without me, there's this other me that stands slightly off to the side and observes it all without getting sucked in.  I've written before about watching myself, and I'm finding more and more I do exactly that when in the deepest throes of depression.
  
This other self is calm.  It knows that the mood will pass.  It tells me that real as it seems right now, depression is not a true reflection of reality and that I will return to lucidity soon.  It sends me messages that tell me to hang on, wait it out, and trust.  I reminds me of all the tricks in my bag to help me get out of my funk.  It sends me signs and signals - beacons of light I call them.  Like a random phone call or e-mail from a friend, just the right quote on FaceBook, the perfect song on the radio, or some other small nudge in the right direction.

Some people would call these signs from God.  I used to call them signs from the Universe.  But now I know it's my higher self, my healthy and whole self, dropping me a lifeline when I need it most.

Pretty cool huh... I'm finding that my biggest supporter is actually - ME!

Not that I mind the support from all of you... keep it coming!  You have no idea how much it helps :)

But it's pretty cool to understand that I am on my side.  It's just recently that I truly grasped that concept.  I am my own greatest supporter.  Wow I really am loved after all!

Peace out... I'm going to have a wonderfully happy, serene and lucid evening :)

Kicking depression

My posts of late have been less than sunny, and there's good reason why.

I'm going through this "dark night of the soul" thing, and I'm finding myself falling back into depression.  I hate being in that state!  I lived with severe clinical depression for over 20 years and during that time my life completely fell apart.  I'm not sure if the depression was caused by life falling apart or if life falling apart was a result of the depression.  Probably some of each.  But it's there and even though I've mostly kicked it - it still rears it's ugly head from time to time.

And that's where I've been lately.  Stuck in the mental and emotional sludge that is depression, and desperately using every trick I know to get back out of it.

Why does this matter to you?  It doesn't really.  But this blog is about being authentic, and while I'm not going to post the pages and pages of absolute slime that have come out of me in these past weeks, I do want to share what's going on and why my attitude has tilted precariously toward the dark side as of late.

I want you to know that I WILL get out of this.  I have things to do and places to go and none of it can happen if I'm too tired and depressed to get out of bed in the morning.  But I refuse to be sitting at this same table in this same apartment a year from now, still writing about what I want to do "someday."

No.   Next year this time someday will have arrived, and I'll be writing from my new life, with depression just a faded memory of a past that doesn't matter.

How's that for courage of conviction?!

When is Spring coming?

For the last couple days the weather has been beautiful!  Temperatures in the high 60s to low 70s, sunny, and all around very nice.

But as this picture shows, it's still very much winter.  The trees are barren and despite the sun and warmer temperatures, I'm just not feeling it yet.

I close my eyes and imagine tender young leaves sprouting on that tree. I smile as think about flowers peeking out of the ground.

I listen intently for the sounds of critters scurrying around and birds chirping.  In the city those sounds are often drowned out, and strain as I might I can't pick them out.

I turn my attention to my face, wanting to feel the spring breeze.  Ah....I catch a wisp.  Or was that the truck that just drove by?

And the smells....... I long for the sweet aroma of spring!  I open my nostrils wide in anticipation.  Nothing but exhaust and the stale smells of winter.

As I reflect on all this I realize how much I miss living in the country.  Or at least suburbia where I used to live, and where I experienced spring all it's glory.  Here in the city it's not so apparent and it makes me sad.

I long for spring.  I know it's just a few short weeks away and I'm so excited but I wonder.... will I see it here?

It's so past time for me to move!  It's beyond time to change jobs, location and everything about my life. 

And that's what inspires me most.  Perhaps this spring will be the one where I finally break out of the perpetual winter I've been in and really, truly make that new start.  I'm ready!

Today's note from the Universe

Do you get the TUT Notes from the Universe?  They arrive in my inbox every morning and I just love them!  Today's message was very timely, as I'm working hard on feeling more worthy and lovable.

My note from TUT Today: 

The presumption, Maria, at all times and under all circumstances, should always be that you are good enough, worthy enough, and lovable enough. And that you are exactly the right kind of person, in the right place, at the right time. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been instilled with such dreams in the first place.

Love you, The Universe

Have a great day!